The Attic Breakdown

Picking & Scratching: A User's Guide

Some magical little bits and pieces of previous recordings that tragically landed on the cutting room floor!

Mental Gymnastics

Jailhouse justice, schoolhouse spankings, and is Simone Biles just a real big quitter? Also, #ItsBritneyBitch!

Not Our First Rodeo

Veterans in diners drinking coffee, I am not a robot, and is Heather drunk? Also, do shepherds still exist?

Love You Forever

Storybook stalker mom, #FreeTheNipple, and our thoughts on bumper sticker people. The overly-handsy gameshow host, and also, Jordan's encounter with Dr. Death.

Somebody Hand Me My Underwear

Party favor foul, celebrating cellulite, and anemia is beautiful too. Also, RIP Richard Branson?

Zesting Our Way Into Cannibalism

Knees are legs too, jumping off countertops, Satanic Panic, and are all right turns alright? Also, please don't thank us with a cookie.

If the Peanuts Don't Get Us, the Zombies Will

Attic absenteeism, intelligence vs hard work, and we assemble our zombie apocalypse dream team. Also, Heather shares her strategy for keeping her kids off of America Idol.

The Ultimate Gardner

The fifth-born, Panama vs Pennsylvania, and our plans for interdimensional portal survival. Also, Danielle tries to pick a fight with Paris.

Sloth Culture

Please don’t sing Happy Birthday at me, and it seems our (thinning) hair is running the show. Crossfit bashing, too tired to hustle, and also smelling is overrated.

Angela Ruins EVERYTHING!

The evolution of moles, Jurassic park vs The Fast and The Furious, and are the best seats really in the middle? Also, Danielle confesses to crushing on… Jesus?