The Attic Breakdown

Tragic Bangs

Pandemic potty mouth, half-read articles, Heather's scent adventure, and Don't Look Up. Homework fails, seductive felines, Carol from Michigan, and also how the guy with the pipe revived his wife.

Jordan Needs a Safe Word

Failed bedtime prayers, hitting all time lows, and how Betty White saved 2022? Reviewing our freshman year, Mount St. Heather’s imminent eruption, and also why do you have to be so sciency?

Bar Fights and BB Guns

Angela’s mouth makeover and Canada confusion. Provinces, Parishes, and Villages, oh my!!! Cinnamon science, and also, why are you gurls always so sweaty?
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Knocked Up

Puzzled about side pieces, rock bottom pretzels, and Angela ruins a gender reveal. Death by land or sea, travel anxiety, Boyz 2 Men GOAT, and also if you want to call, just send an email.

Junk Drawer

Sad elvish goodbyes, Jordan’s character flaws, the dickish donut ask, and Heather’s infinite inbox.  The JFK affect, musical entrances, and Danielle’s requested closing.

Mustard Sandwiches

Sketchy meat, the freaky-deaky Kardashians, and what’s so great about Pete Davidson? Heather’s 7-Eleven fashion faux pas, a lottery tutorial, and also the METAmorphasis of Facebook. 

Sassy Monks and Raunchy Restaurants

Jordan’s big feelings, the value of a timer, and the Banana Boat contradiction. Stalin’s monkey army, royal imposters, Alexie's restricted play, and also should we eat out?

Al Roker and Mickey Rooney

The doll kicked across the hall, freezy tanks, Grecian flex, naked and shamed, bones or no bones and life before cell phones. How to divide a decade: science vs math and also do you believe in miracles? Yes!

Mysterious Menstruations

Fraudulent tax bills, testosterone averse lice, and who has the alpha womb? The dreaded return of the low-rise, and also, don't take pills from Angela.

Please Don’t Rate Me

The well-known unclimbable birch, Tripping trombones, Ray Ban scams, poop drops, and the business of pirates. Flinstones overdose, the escape to international waters, and also a disastrous closing.